blogging, community, family, humor, Parenting, The Invisible Moth

Bacon Wars

(Updated from April 2016.)

(Warning: This is not a post for vegetarians. Read at your own risk.)

Okay, one day, as I Googled “cute cat pictures” for the post I was writing at the time, something similar to the above popped up. Hmm, that’s a bit odd, I thought to myself; I asked for cats, not piglets. Still, awww.

And, although I never feel the need to defend myself for being a meat-eater, I felt a little bad that I had already planned to serve pork chops for dinner that night.

I made the mistake of mentioning this incident to my oldest son that evening. 13-year-old White Fang immediately went into a diatribe: “How could you? Think of the poor piggies!” He did this while munching on a pork chop, so obviously he wasn’t taking it too seriously himself.

I considered it an amusing event, and moved on with my life. Or, so I thought.

A couple days later, my husband brought home a pound of bacon to make for breakfast. As we cooked it, White Fang began to torment me again: “How could you? How could you! Poor piggies! The poor piggies!”

This cracked him up. The little rapscallion.

I was determined to ignore him. However, the vague sense of guilt began to grow. (Not until after breakfast, but, hey… Sorry, folks.)

Shortly, it developed into a running joke. White Fang mentioned it every chance he could find. “Stop it!” I finally shouted at him. He just laughed even more.

The next time I was on Google images, White Fang jumped up from his TV viewing and said, “Can I search for something?”

His smirk told me all I needed to know. “No,” I answered, “you are not looking for cute piglet pictures to torture me.”

He didn’t deny it.

A morning soon after that, while White Fang was getting ready for school, I heard the toddler, Muffin, rummaging on the bookshelves. (This is a sanctioned activity, as long as he sticks to certain shelves.) Occasionally, Muffin will bring out a book he’s chosen to show to us. This day, it was — and I’m not kidding — Charlotte’s Web.

All right, I decided, enough is enough. That night we ordered takeout, and I selected for White Fang — are you ready? — a bacon cheeseburger.

And when I served it to him, I said, “How could you? Think of the pigs!”

He ate the whole burger. Hypocrite.

I don’t know about him, but after all this, I may be swearing off pork products for a while. In looking up pictures for this post, the cuteness is about to do me in.



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