Recently I was mentioned in a post by Rachel McKee of Illuminated Literation, via the fact that the title of my blog is one of her favorites.
Along with feeling downright flattered upon reading that comment, I did start to ponder what she said:
“Why can’t I see the moth? How is an invisible moth different from the other (visible) moths?”
Well, the answer to that is a bit complex. For one, when I was trying to choose a name for my blog, I wanted something that reflected how I felt about myself attempting to relate to a world that I often don’t understand, and that frequently doesn’t get me.
However, in admitting that I was joining this platform, I was drawing dangerously close to the light, and risking making myself be seen by potentially many (and potentially not nice people).
So I wanted to do what I could to keep myself at least a little under the radar. It’s not just about privacy concerns, though. It’s about not being under a glaring spotlight that may bring with it things I will simply never be ready for.
I am literally very sensitive. In a Sensory Perception way. Loud noises, sudden occurrences, bright lights, and unexpected textures all take their toll. Everything from someone shouting, to thunder, fireworks, cold water when it should be warm, the touch of a frog or snake, someone coming up behind me when I’m not ready for it — all of it frazzles my nerves.
Although everyone has the same five senses, some people refuse to accept that how mine perceive things is valid to me. I have been ridiculed, mocked, libeled, and slandered, by people in school, on the street, in authority, supposed friends. All of this means that staying invisible to the world is a very attractive idea.
I take a very big risk every time I make a post, since that brings me to the attention of a possibly volatile world. There are very good reasons this moth chooses invisiblity.
But access is granted to a select few, those who arrive in this corner of the blogisphere either by chance or through reference, and when they stay, they do so with an open mind, with tolerance for someone who experiences things differently than they do, and a willingness to find common bonds.
So, for those of you who are already good friends to this blog, you’re certainly welcome to stick around. And for any of you who were wondering, this is how this moth came about her title, and it will stay that way.
But if you tap gently on the door and give the right password, feel free to join us for as long as you wish. Personally I hope it’s a while. I’ll be sticking it out.