The Soundtrack to Our Lives

In Which I Post My First Ever Comic Review!

The reason it’s a first ever is very simply because my learning disability gets in the way of how well I can consume certain media formats. Comics are notoriously one, based on their traditional layout (which means my dyslexia sometimes gets confused about who’s speaking when, or if I was supposed to read that bubble before this bubble). But the adult comics market is exploding, and thanks to my practice reading graphic novels aloud to Muffin, I am now able to navigate these waters more efficiently than in years past. And since I now belong to an author collaboration that happens to include a bunch of talented comic artists, I really want to read more and support the community more.

Anyway, I decided to start with the first release by We Have Issues, called Play It Again, which is a standalone single-issue about a man who is finishing preparing to move house after the end of a long-term relationship. Putting his young son to bed, he tries to complete the task, all the emotions of the situation weighing heavily on his heart. While packing the last few things, he finds within his record collection a vinyl disc compiled specifically of songs he wrote for his significant other at particular milestones in their lives (like moving in together, talking about getting married, finding out they were going to be parents). The man puts the record on the player, and is suddenly — literally — sucked into some sort of time-travel portal that brings him back to the moment that song references.

*Deep breath*

Okay, I don’t even know what to say without spoiling the whole story. But there is SO much I could say. For a comic you can read, without rushing, in 20 minutes, there is an INTENSE amount of raw, relatable, poignant, even brutally forthright emotion that anyone who’s ever struggled to accept “it’s over” will feel along with the narrator. The obvious parallel is to divorce or break-ups; but many of us have experienced such grief after other kinds of losses, and any situation where we’re sad, angry, confused, and barely holding it together following one pivotal event — whether we saw it coming or it’s a shock — is what creates the heart of this story.

The metaphors the narrator uses are on point, and while a little flowery at times, never leaves the realm of believable or understandable. The psychological journey he goes on while his body is literally shunted through different physical locations is tough at the beginning (think open wound bleeding), grows in letting go of guilt and forgiving oneself, and eventually reaches not just a place of acceptance, but also of warmth and love, even in the midst of heartbreak. AND. I. JUST.

Give me a minute here, everybody.

As I previously mentioned, this was the first release by the writer-artist duo that is We Have Issues; there are a few (little) things that do show up — ye olde, “wait, is that a typo?” moment; and some of the artwork looks a bit more rudimentary. HOWEVER. Because this story is also, obviously, a labor of love, the bits where maybe it could’ve used a tad more polish are easy to overlook. And it is damn impressive that two self-taught entrepreneurs (with day jobs and families and all the other things creatives so often have to juggle while producing art) put together a comic on their own, a very particular medium.

And, while, yes, I am a little biased because when I know a creator personally I just want to sing their praises, the fact I already knew a lot about these two as humans before getting into their work did not at all prepare me for what I’d find upon reading. The connection made with the reader (or maybe just this reader) feels so much stronger than what I’d expect from pen and ink. And, yes, as a writer myself, you’d think this would be a “duh” sort of musing. But, no, I was not anticipating something so resonating from a pair of since-childhood-friends who are big fans of superheroes and comics and tropes and know each other inside and out.

So, boys, thanks for wrecking me. Keep up the amazing work. And, no, I haven’t yet decided if I will try reading Deathless. I’m taking out an extended rain check on answering that question.

Writing Life Updates!: The In Case You Missed It Edition

Hello again! (Finally!) So, recently I have been busy with Halloween stuff and school stuff and life stuff, and part of all that was the topic of this post — my official launch as an author with ASAP Imagination.

Last week the first in my cozy fantasy series, Volume 1: Masters and Beginners, went live in the NE1 World digital catalog, and then I went live on ASAP Imagination’s YouTube channel, in their NE1 World Showcase, to be interviewed about said book. (WordPress has issues with me trying to insert embedded links, I’m afraid, so if you can’t find the interview by going to YouTube, leave a comment to get very particular instructions.)

Anyway, I survived the 45 minutes without seeming too nervous or struggling with technical difficulties, and it was well received by my peers, so, yay! And I’m not panicking too much (I swear, ha ha) about telling all of you to go watch it!

Now, although this is not a new book (first publication was in 2017, after all), I am still quite excited because this launch marks my series going wide. For those of you who aren’t familiar with publishing terms/trends, wide distribution means that digital copies of my work will now be available to anyone who has a device that downloads ebooks — not just Kindle, not specifically Apple, etc. The reason this is such a big deal is because, of course, it means my work will have a real chance to reach a bigger audience; but also, I’m among other creatives, and those who understand the creative ups and downs, and the sense of community, rather than competition, is so there.

Some of you will remember that recently I debated whether or not to keep my books listed on Amazon because of their changes in policies that are definitely going to hurt indie authors. Feeling at the mercy of a huge corporate algorithm does not encourage one to write with passion and spark. Worrying about AI generated fiction pushing your hard-wrought words even further down the search charts won’t put one in the mood to promote loudly and energetically. Now that I’m part of something that celebrates artistic achievements and appreciates these endeavors in their own right, this is helping refuel the dream of getting my stories into readers’ hands. I’m not starting over; I’m changing course, and the goal, at last, once more feels within reach.

If you’ve already read Masters and Beginners (thank you!!!), you could use this relaunch as a way to share the joy with your friends, relatives, neighbors, pets, your neighbors’ pets, and make sure everyone in existence who knows how to read and likes fantasy is aware they can easily snag a digital copy and watch an interview that gives them an introduction to what will be a journey of adventure and humor!

Ahem. Okay, how was that for self promotion?

Writing News!: Some Announcements, A Bit of Discussion, and One or Two Carefully Placed Primal Screams

Hello there! So, it took quite a lot of doing, but some author stuff has finally been accomplished, and now I have tangible details to share!

First: A few months ago, I started looking into alternatives to Amazon when it came to ebook distribution. The corporate giant has long forgotten its origins as one of the grassroots building blocks for the indie publishing field, and doing business with them as a self-pubbed author these days is literal hell. And since I no longer work in the local library system, I need sales and royalties and actual promotion for my bibliography. Luckily, I came across some real possibilities for not-Amazon; and finished paperwork and file transfers later, I can announce that my work will very soon be available on the digital bookstore, NE1 World!

Everyone there has been so welcoming, and I joined in their live anniversary con on YouTube last week to introduce myself and share a little about my series. The feeling of getting involved in a group that supports authors of all sorts of genres and styles is so rewarding. For any of you who have read my writing, you’ll know that I don’t stick to tropes, that I combine genres, that I like to shake up the norms (no love triangles or 40-page chapters here!), and that means finding a distributor who accepts all of that and figures out a way to market my work as it is has been tricky. So — as nervewracking as my first live appearance online was! — I’m excited for the chance to go in this direction.

Second: Editing on Volume 4 is almost complete! I fully intend to release a paperback, but I’m thinking that I might go with digital release first (now that I have the groundwork laid for easily-submitted ebooks!). Between needing to get ready for the start of the new school year and returning to the dance studio, I simply may not have the bandwidth to deal with all the formatting and configuring right away. I’ll be sure to keep everyone informed of the next steps as they’re taken!

Third: This will be a primal scream moment. Now that I do have an alternative in place to the ‘Zon, it is very important to not lose sight of the reasons why finding said alt was so necessary. I first uploaded my back-catalogue onto the website, for public sale, in mid-2021; in 2 years, I have yet to receive a single royalty payment, though the company’s own records show that in some months, I did earn “enough,” according to their own rules. What knocked me way down was their former policy on ebook returns — which removed a royalty credit from the author’s account if their ebook title was returned. In less than a 60-day period, I lost over $40 that I’d acquired in Kindle sales because of this, and have yet to get even close to reclaiming it. And because of “printing costs increasing” earlier this year and making authors set our prices higher, paperback sales are in a massive slump. While I, as a reader on a shoestring budget, understand that, as a financially-strapped writer, I’m also pretty upset about it.

So, although I’m going to leave my catalog on Amazon, I’m not going to add to it. This company has done absolutely nothing to make me feel valued as a creative or as a person with real world concerns, and while I will continue to remind folks my work exists there — so that hopefully one day I finally cross the mythological threshold of “earned enough” and actually get some royalties from these *insert bad words here* — I’ve decided striking out on new paths is the way forward.

Fourth (and last for now): The recent upheaval over at Twitter has also taken its toll on my marketing abilities. Since my account is not “premium” there, I am on the lowest rungs of the algorithm’s ladder, and my community engagement has dropped dramatically in the last several months. I still post there — aherm, TWEET — and am doing my best at yelling into the void and hoping my voice lands on at least some of my tribe. But, because I like having a safety net for all sorts of situations, I have created an account with Blue Sky social media, and hope to cultivate a presence there as well (just in case). My handle at Blue Sky is also invisiblemoth1, for anyone who’s headed there and would like to drop in on me!

All right, that brings you pretty well up to speed! Have a great week, everyone!

Indie Release Reviews!

Hello, everyone! It feels like a very long time since I reviewed some self-pubbed titles, doesn’t it?! And, yes, it really has been; for the last couple of years, due to Muffin being the focus of my book-buying budget, I have been at the mercy of the library catalogue for developing my own TBR, and we all know many libraries do not carry indie or small press releases. But this Christmas when I amazingly had a gift card that wasn’t earmarked for something else, I used it to search out some indie authors I’d been meaning to try. And one of these titles was a gift from the author. So a couple of months ago, I took a break from paring down the mountain of discards I took from the library last year, to finish (and even review! yay!) some of the non-trad titles. Here we go!

The Thor Bozman Collection by Wm Brett Hill

These stories are unique, written with a clear voice, and each is different. The tales aren’t connected to one another, but all the narrators feel authentic to their own story. The settings and plots wildly vary, too. The author gets a chance to explore a variety of themes and thoughts, and I really liked the twists — even the couple that I suspected were coming were delivered in a satisfying way. There is some gory violence and a little adult language, not a bad thing in my view, just for readers to be aware of in case it’s not your cup of tea. If you like sci-fi and spec fic (including dystopian or post-apocalypse), these are neat tales to immerse yourself in. I read one a night across the span of about a week, and every night it was an hour well spent. I’m looking forward to what Hill may tackle next!

Snapshots by Jeff Coleman

This was a real find. I used to follow this author’s blog, where every week he’d release a new piece of flash fiction. Although he has moved on to full-length novels (do look him up!), I am so, so pleased he bundled together the blog posts and published them as an anthology. Many of them are short (1-2 pages), so you can read several in one go. Each piece features a different setting, location, premise and narrator, and while the voice does very often sound the same, it doesn’t matter; Coleman’s writing is at once expansive and relatable, interesting, serious when it needs to be, touching or funny (when it fits), and some of these “snapshots” are incredibly deep and meaningful to parts of the human experience. Coleman literally runs the whole range of spec fic, from magical realism and fantasy to sci fi and dystopia, to truly scary horror. The collection is neatly divided by category, so finding something you’re in the mood for won’t be hard. My personal favorites are “Redemption” and “The Machine,” both of which move me nearly to tears on each reading. If you like short fiction, this is definitely a treasure trove.

The Hare and the Hatter by Kyle R Shultz

Once upon a time, a mad lad called Kyle Robert Shultz decided to create a fictional place called The Afterverse, and blend subverting fairytale tropes with the historical mystery genre, throw in some references to Alice in Wonderland, and include time travel and he made it all work. Five canon books, a spin-off series, a number of related short stories, and many flailing fans later (who generally just communicate with each other about plot twists by screaming), Shultz returned to the Afterverse this year with The Hare and the Hatter. If you haven’t already read these, it’s impossible to give a proper review without MASSIVE spoilers, so I won’t ruin it for you — just buy Beaumont and Beasley #1, The Beast of Talesend, and get started on the journey.

The fact is, this is one of the most unique and enjoyable fantasy series you’re ever likely to read. Most of the books are fairly short, and while there are a lot of them (including the spin-off series of Crockett and Crane), you can read one usually in a few days (truly, you’ll want to, because boring bits in the middle is not something Shultz does, like, ever). While I may be biased since, yes, this author and I used to work together a lot (he designed several beautiful covers for me), I still like this series, this world, and these characters in their own rights. The Afterverse is home to one of my biggest fictional crushes, not gonna lie, the shapeshifting dragon Malcolm Blackfire. I literally want to marry this man (yes, I know he’s just words on paper, shut it), and tend to get a tad…emotional if this character’s suffering reaches a certain level that I’m not comfortable with him having to endure (basically anything more intense than a papercut). This is by no means the only reason, but indeed one of the main reasons, that I will totally finish this series to the end, no matter how long it takes to acquire and read the rest of the books.

Ahem.

So, there we have it! I hope to have more indie reviews coming up soon! Take care, everyone!

Mid-Year Update: Publishing, Marketing, and Other Author-y Stuff

So, because we’re nearly halfway (?!?!?!) through the year, it makes sense that I would want to make sure I’ve kept everybody up to date on writing progress and the like. But, I confess, there’s a major factor outside of my control that spurred me towards releasing an update post now as opposed to July (which was my original plan).

As some of you may have heard, Amazon has decided to raise its printing costs for authors. As you can imagine, this means what we’re paid in royalties is going to change. This means we’re being strongly encouraged (practically forced, unfortunately) to change the listings of our book prices, so that when the new minimum royalty rate goes into effect, we’ll actually earn something after the cost of printing/distributing our book. And this means that we authors are now faced with the conundrum of having to raise the prices on our work (perhaps significantly), or keep them where they are, and risk seeing our royalties drop, possibly drastically.

So (after a fair amount of mood swings and malcontent over this entire situation), I’ve made the decision to raise the prices on my Amazon listings. It’s not a choice I take lightly, and honestly, I’m gutted. I proudly kept my prices low — despite it affecting my royalties — out of the love for fellow bookworms who are on a tight budget. I have always been so very pleased that random people across the country are enthused about my work, and I wanted to provide it at a cost that felt reasonable, and kind, to these readers who certainly have millions of other options clamoring for their attention. However, I make very little as it is when it comes to book sales (as an indie author with a modest platform), and the idea of not getting anything after distribution is a heartwrenching one.

And, because I do want my readers to know this choice is truly not personal, I have made some strategic calls regarding my KDP account:

• Previous editions of some of my work (that have not done well in terms of sales) have been archived, and the availability of certain formats reflects the feedback from my reports. The digital and paperback versions (new covers) of Volume 1, 2, and 3 of The Order of the Twelve Tribes are consistently on sale, as well as the print version of Fire and Wind. The ebook of all of my short stories, I is for Invisible, M is for Moth, can be bought on Kindle.
• Because I respect the free market and readers needing to shop around, I’ve left the print versions of my short stories, and the original covers for Volumes 1, 2 and 3 on Barnes & Noble. Also, the promotional version of How To Be A Savage and Other Tales can be found in print via B&N.
• Although I am raising prices on Amazon, prices on Barnes & Noble will stay put. Exercising my right as an independent contractor.
• Volume 4 will be released to both retailers, and I will let readers make their own choice on which they purchase the new title from.
• I am looking into other options for digital distribution, so that I can expand my reach to readers in other, non-‘Zon markets.

Now, onto the much more pleasant topic of Volume 4’s impending arrival! There is editing and formatting to finish, BUT, readers should be able to have it in their hands before September. In my typical style, I’m not going to nail down a date, but as we complete further steps, I will let everyone know that we’re getting closer, and provide an updated time frame for publishing.

Thanks to an arts grant I received, I will have the ability to order extra promotional copies! So look for a giveaway here in the next few months!

ALSO: Anyone who has read through Volume 3 and would be interested in being on the release team for Volume 4, please leave me a comment below! I was terribly flobby with advertising Fire and Wind, so I’m hoping to get back on the horse, as it were, for the next installment!

Along these same lines, I do want to try and put together at least a little bit of a blog tour for Fire and Wind, my somewhat neglected standalone, that I worked so hard on and am still proud of. (As I should be, yes, yes, I know. Just let me admit my guilt and do a moment of penance.) Anyway, again, if you’ve read through Volume 3 (because after finishing that the premise of Fire and Wind makes the most sense) and would be interested in getting a review copy, please drop a comment to that effect and we’ll chat!

Now, when it comes to further writing, I had originally debated whether to have 4, 5, or 6 volumes in the canon (anything longer than that and series tend to lose their mojo). Because I feel that my initial storyline has come to a very good point where many things feel settled, but there are still quite a number of established things in the worldbuilding that could easily create a new plot, I’ve opted to include a new standalone/companion novel, as well as eventually release Volume 5. I can already see Volume 5 taking all of the arcs of my main characters and capitalizing on their experiences and growth, and being a nice way to round out the canon while still leaving the door open for further stories in the same world.

So, for now, that’s all (I think?!)! To all of you, as always, THANK YOU for your support and encouragement; it means so very much to this moth. Have a great week, everyone!

Long-Overdue Update On My Writing!

Does anybody happen to remember, hundreds of years ago, when I actually published books? After plunging into NaNoWriMo (and winning!) in 2016, I took an even deeper dive into self-publishing, and released my debut novel in 2017, followed by two sequels in the series, and a few unrelated short stories. The plan after that was to proceed with an idea I had for a standalone, companion novel to my fantasy series, and go forth with a contemporary (gasp!) story I really wanted to tackle.

Then, due to several factors that quickly spiraled out of my control, much of 2019 was a personal nightmare, and my publishing plans got set waaaaay back. Between all of that and all the crap hitting the rest of the world recently, I not only lost my original path, but by the time I found it again, the route looked completely different than it had. So, in spite of managing to release a second batch of short stories — including an abbreviated version of the contemporary I’d envisioned being a much bigger project — last year was rather uneventful for me as an author.

Here’s the good news: While falling and getting back up again is HARD and SUCKS, it can be done. So, I now, finally, have some actual UPDATES to share!

First: The manuscript for Fire and Wind is just about finished, apart from final edits. Then I’ll be starting on formatting — sooner rather than later — and here’s a preview of the amazing cover!

The only unfortunate thing for readers when it comes to Fire and Wind is that this isn’t a good “jumping on point” regarding my fantasy series. It’s set between Volumes 3 and 4 of The Order of the Twelve Tribes, so if you haven’t read through Volume 3, many parts of it would be confusing. But it is my homage to a character White Fang helped me develop, which was originally supposed to serve a single, distinct moving-the-plot-along purpose, and it quickly turned into needing her own backstory and tying in with the rest of the series. So, for fans of my little “suburban fantasy” world, who have been awaiting more, yes, at last it will be occurring!

Here’s what else I’ve been up to:

Over the last couple of months, I’ve started the process of re-releasing, with updated covers and formatting, my already-published short stories and Volumes 1, 2 and 3. So far, my team and I have put together all the short fiction into one collection, with a new cover and new title. I is for Invisible, M is for Moth contains all the entries from Dreamings and Muses and How To Be A Savage, available in paperback and ebook (on Amazon and Barnes and Noble). The full collection was my first successful digital upload, a result which may or may not have left me a mess of flailing puddle on the floor for a day or so.

Ahem.

Anyway, the separate collections are still available on Barnes and Noble as well, and the goal is to have ebook editions of the originals uploaded (finally), too. For anyone who already has the originals, the stories in I is… have not had any changes made to content. The stories remain the same.

   

Other announcements:

The new covers and formatting for Volumes 1, 2, and 3! Again, none of the manuscripts have been changed, in terms of story, so the plot and characters you read back in 2017-18 are the same as the first editions. The major difference is in the aesthetics — it cleans up some niggling little things about the text that bothered me (basically, I wanted it to look “fancier” and “more professional”), and the cover designer felt that way about the art. Here is the new look for Volume 1:

For everyone who already owns the original editions of Masters and Beginners, Rulers and Mages, and Healers and Warriors, as I already mentioned, no sneaky alterations to the tales themselves have happened, and these books remain canon. There will be digital versions on sale of all of these in the very near future (in the case of Volume 1, there already is!). For those of you who repeatedly asked about ebooks, thank you so much for your patience! It turns out technology and I have a love-hate relationship, and some aspects of indie authoring proved more difficult than I anticipated, hence the delay.

       

These are the major things going on right now, and I’m happy to be able to share them! To all of you who have had my back all this time, no matter the constant shakeups in what should have been a straightforward publishing schedule, to all of you who remain excited to see what I put out next, whenever it arrives, THANK YOU. Having such a network has meant soooo much in the past 16 months — well, since the very beginning — and definitely helps make this life worth it, when the struggle feels too big.

Toby concurs.

 

Introducing “I is for Invisible, M is for Moth”!

Good afternoon, everyone! So, after quite a while of not having a new release announcement to make, today I’m here to share the following:

It’s called “I is for Invisible, M is for Moth,” and while it’s not completely new, it is a fresh collection of all my short stories, and it also — for the first time ever when it comes to my work — has ebook versions available for Kindle and Nook! Paperbacks are on sale as well.

Here’s a link: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/i-is-for-invisible-m-is-for-moth-kyle-shultz/1136844306?ean=2940163066223.

And here’s a link:

 

I am very excited to finally be able to offer digital versions, and to expand my platform. And to announce that there is more coming! I’m working on updated editions of all of my existing titles, and as soon as each one becomes a solid thing, I’ll fill you in!

If I could add a couple of requests (hey, of course I can, it’s my blog): First, while I know that Amazon is quite popular, if you don’t have a Kindle, or if you (like me) simply don’t do the ebook thing, please give ordering from Barnes and Noble equal consideration. Physical bookstores are a somewhat endangered species that we need to preserve, and I am proud to use them as an indie author, and as a reader.

The other request: If you have read and enjoyed anything I’ve written, please do consider leaving a review on Barnes and Noble, Amazon, or Goodreads. Reviews can really help an indie author’s exposure, and positive word of mouth is great marketing for us!

Even in the middle of very unusual, and stressful, circumstances, I maintain that art matters, and I’m still pretty tickled for even a very low-key book launch. Take care of yourselves, moths.

 

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=i+is+for+invisible%2C+m+is+for+moth&i=stripbooks&ref=nb_sb_noss

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=i+is+for+invisible%2C+m+is+for+moth&i=stripbooks&ref=nb_sb_noss

Welcome to the Future (of The Invisible Moth)

Good morning. Did you know that…in a little over 2 days…the decade is ending??

Now, don’t panic. This is not necessarily a cause for concern. I mean, this is a pattern that gets repeated every 10 years, and many of us are still here, x number of new decades onwards, to report that, in fact, life does carry on.

(It does, right?!?!)

Ahem. Yes, it does, really.

I’m generally not one for making New Year’s resolutions, but 2019 was an odd kind of year for my family, and now that we’re finally back into some resemblance of “normal,” I feel secure enough to take a look at how my writing and reading life has been going, and determining what does or doesn’t work anymore.

This reflection means some changes are coming to my platform as well.

Big Change #1: I’m doing away with my hard-and-fast rule of DNF-ing whatever book, whenever, however. 

2017 and 2018 were massive years of not finishing books. It was like I couldn’t find the attention span or the devotion within myself to commit to reading past page 20 and hoping it would get better. And in retrospect, I feel I did a disservice to all those novels I just lobbed into the return box in the library parking lot with a frown of disdain. What if one of them had turned out to be my next favorite?

So, while I’m not imposing a ban on buying books, or a limit on how much I read next year, I am going to stick to books I choose for the monthly library-funded discussion evening, and what Owl Crate gives us these forecoming 12 months. And I am going to finish EVERY SINGLE ONE.

Ouch. The force of that ambition actually hurt a little.

Big Change #2: My blogging schedule will not, in fact, be in any way a schedule.

I have PLANS, and WANTS, and IMPORTANT THINGS to take care of, in Life, the Universe, and Everything, in the very near future. Hence, for the first time since I started this blog, I will not freak out if I can’t get a post beautifully crafted and onto WordPress every 72 hours exactly.

And I’d like to focus more on the sort of in-depth discussions, regarding all types of fandom stuff, that I’ve made a stalwart of this platform in the last couple of years, and really enjoy. Engaging with the community is great, and I’d much rather keep that up than go back to the “same old, same old” of generic-feeling reviews and posts that just remind people I’m around.

Big Change #3: My publications will not, really, be on a schedule, either, but I intend to make them OCCUR.

There is something to be said for constantly sharing snippets of your WIP with people who are eagerly awaiting its release. Especially if you’re not a big-name author, but big enough that self-promotion, and reminding critics you exist and they liked your previous work, comes highly recommended by your publisher.

However, I found that in 2019, I got so caught up in worrying that loyal readers would simply forget about me just because I hadn’t released any new snippets, news, or even talked about what I was working on in ages, that any joy of sharing the progress and anticipation was totally not there. And that merely added to the already incredible amount of stress I was under, due to Life being a true jackass back in the spring.

So, I’ve made an executive decision: Not attempting to build press or expectations or, really, anything coming up to the actual release of a new book is the way forward. For me. Not that I’d advise it for anybody else or across the board. But there are only so many hours in a day, and in the next 365 of them, I want to ACCOMPLISH a hell of a lot. Therefore, I must manage such accordingly.

I shall be WRITING, rather than building the suspense.

Sorry (not sorry).

Big Change #4: I am plunging into ebooks and wider distribution (aaaaaaaaahhhh, help me!!!).

Yes, I am terrified to undertake this process. Scared of all the digital things that could go wrong, of how many more people could dislike my work after reading it on an electronic device, of how horribly my grand plan could backfire by turning me into the most griped about indie author online.

Cough. Sorry (really this time). This headfirst dive is happening despite all my fears, because I keep getting support and encouragement from friends. (Who really should be made aware now, you may quite possibly have to drag me kicking and screaming to the actual uploading.)

BUT. Not going to lie, I need to increase my marketing, my presence, and my writer’s resume, and this is one of the most common, and overall simple, ways to do so.

Big Change #5: I will be letting someone else handle my next blog tour for a special release or important re-release. 

Yes, both of these types of readings are in the mix, and I’ve decided that I can’t handle arranging ARCs and the promotional stuff right now. So, if you’re a fan of my stuff (thank you!!!), look for news probably in the spring about who’s going to wrangle all of that and where you can sign up if you’d like to participate.

Basically, the biggest aim for 2020 is to complete more and be less stressed. And while streamlining the process will be an adjustment and maybe not easier to begin with, I know that going forward my plate needs to show a little more white under the stuff.

You got that metaphor, right?

A Million Dreams

About 18 months ago, I had an extremely unpleasant experience with a local group that was supposedly for would-be writers. I had been looking for just such a thing, so I bravely brought along a sample chapter of the WIP I hoped would become Volume 4 of my fantasy series, and managed to stifle my nerves long enough to read from a few pages of it.

I began to worry when I realized that what others in the group had written was distinctly not even close to my offering. And as the meeting progressed, I also realized that what the others had done was all very similar, all based around a memory or family anecdote from a specific time of year. It also started to concern me that, in between readings, people would discuss politics or social platform topics brought up by the biographical snippets. I found a reason to leave the meeting early, and felt very confused by the time I got home.

The next day, I got an email from the person who ran the group, “politely” (but really in a very patronizing way) informing me that the meetings only covered non-fiction writings, based on an assigned monthly theme, and whatever we might be working on outside of the group wouldn’t be introduced nor feedback given.

I felt absolutely terrible. I figured that I had done the “typical dumb autistic thing,” of not understanding what the group was about before I just barged in to a meeting, and who was I to bring my silly fanciful young adult fantasy novel into the mix of what was clearly meant to be a serious adult discussion?

I never went back.

I also stuck what might have become Volume 4 in a desk drawer, and haven’t touched it since.

In the meantime, I have been seriously plagued with nagging self-doubt about my ability as a writer, as an author. I turned my entire headspace upside down over How To Be A Savage, and the lingering fear of rejection grew so intense that I haven’t even done much publicity for this short story collection that I published this summer. I’m continuing to drag my feet on finishing Fire and Wind. It all goes back to this experience, that stole my joy from having finally begun my publishing journey.

What really did me in? The most damaging thing was the all-too-common worry of neurodivergents everywhere — that I had once again misinterpreted the “rules,” the societal constructs that everybody but me seems to already know, without having to ask, and that I had it wrong, not the group.

Here’s the interesting twist to this tale of woe, however: Some of the people in the “writing” group are also regular library patrons, so — even before I worked there — we crossed paths pretty often. And they told me that the group had been very divided for a while, that the way it was run wasn’t appealing to a lot of people, that several people had attended a meeting and tried writing something different from what the tyrant wanted, received a similar response to what I did, and followed my lead, of simply never returning. In time, the group dissolved, as enough people got fed up with the situation, and stopped going entirely.

Now, you would think that this vindicates me, and I like this resolution. But I don’t like it. I don’t like it, because other people’s unwillingness to stand up to a narcissistic control freak created an inner conflict that nearly ripped apart my hard-fought self-esteem. I don’t like it, because I still had to suffer public criticism of my passion and interests. Not hearing anyone stand up for my effort, my dedication to my own work set me waaay back in terms of personal goals.

I’ve felt like I was living a lie for most of 2019, having to apologize, again, to my readers, for there not being a new book from me this quarter, either, and yet not feeling able to put all the why into words. It’s been debilitating, excruciating.

Finding out recently from people who have had really negative encounters with the individual in question that apparently, this is just how the tyrant is, should be liberating. But I’m not sure. Knowing this doesn’t undo the damage, the hurt. It comes down to: What right does one person have to stomp all over my hard work?

For all the years I patiently honed my craft, all the hours I devoted to increasing my skills in creating believable characters, sensible dialogue, and world-building readers could relate to, I never once wanted to give up because I prefer to write fantasy. Fantasy fiction being a niche genre and market never deterred me; it made me want to succeed more.

Now, though, every new traditional, and indie, release I see brings about a fresh wave of comparison. There’s no way mine is that good. 

I haven’t even read most of these new books, by the way. I’m merely automatically doubting my own abilities.

It’s impacting my completing NaNo this year, too. I hit a minor writer’s block the other day, and have been struggling to take to heart my own motivational speeches posted (in earnest!) on Twitter.

I’ve tried to push past this. I hate it. I need to get through it. But month after month, watching my sales slump, not feeling the ambition to create ebooks that existed last fall, not knowing what to put in my newsletters, beginning to feel like a fraud, has really taken its toll.

When you first decide to self-publish, your head is full of a million dreams. The dream of seeing your book on a shelf, on a website, for the first time; of holding it in your hands; of getting the link to a glowing review; coming across pictures of your book on social media; being able to discuss your characters and plot in detail with other people, because now they understand it all. Despite experiencing all of this in the last 2-plus years, I can feel my dreams slipping away.

I’ve been so reluctant to spill any details about Fire and Wind, even with wanting to build up anticipation for it, because the fear is so firmly in place. Rejection is something those of us on the spectrum have to deal with so frequently, we begin to avoid whatever, whenever, we think will make it happen again.

That means I am inadvertently pushing away my own dreams as well.

So, this post is a blend of confession, venting, and hoping for atonement. And as part of this quest, I’ll be really good and leave you a working synopsis of Fire and Wind:

The Demon Girl has no idea where she came from, just how old she is, or even her species.

She travels from country to country, between the mortal and fae realms, through the decades, never ageing, not dying. She helps old friends, comes to the aid of new ones, protects the defenseless, and stays out of the spotlight.

She can’t remember what she was doing or who she was before the reign of King James I, when she woke up with no memory beside a river in England. Since then, she’s worked at being a mercenary for hire, a deliverer of vigilante justice, an ally to the Faerie Courts, and not a foe of the Order of the Twelve Tribes.

Readers were first introduced to “DG” in Volume 3: Healers and Warriors. Now, in Fire and Wind, we explore more about the Order’s least likely heroine, an amnesiac, immortal loner (except for the mythological creatures she’s fond of), traditionally keeping her distance from humans. When a sudden overthrow of the Unseelie Court forces her to choose sides for the first time in centuries, DG will finally come face to face with her past, and the need to determine her future.

News on How To Be A Savage and Volume 3 (Plus an Abundance of Cute Rabbits and One Wombat)

Good afternoon! (Where did the morning go?!) It is SOOOO Monday, regardless of it being summer… Anyway, the last couple of nights, sleep has not always been my friend, so I’m a little out of it. BUT, there are developments, new items, and impending interesting stuff to reveal to you. Hence, I go forth, to blog, in what is hopefully a coherent manner…

One: Volume 3 of The Order of the Twelve Tribes, “Healers and Warriors” is near to its official release! Whether its online debut will happen prior to mid-July is yet to be determined, but I do know that its in-person unveiling will occur at Realm Makers this year! In fact, a few special autographed copies of each book I’ve published so far in the series shall be available at the conference (for those of you going), watched over by The Kyle Robert Shultz. If you aren’t attending RM, don’t worry, Volumes 1, 2, and 3 shall always be available on Barnes & Noble.com.

Two: After experiencing a great deal of brain-ache and technological sorrow with Wattpad, I’ve decided not to worry about uploading new sections of “How To Be A Savage” on the website for now. To those of you who happily checked out what I did post, thank you so much for your support and your feedback. I simply do not have the energy or the patience to devote to a website that doesn’t feel very user-friendly to this user.

Three: I am changing my already-altered-once plan regarding HTBAS. Once I decided to include the non-fiction parts, and started on the research, and tried to apply this to my writing, without sounding like a textbook… I CANNOT DO IT, MATE. My mind hurts. I feel like I regurgiated all the most unpleasant aspects of my life and added Latin medical terms. SEND. HELP. Preferably in the form of fluffy cats and red velvet cake.

So, I am back to fictionalizing everything. But it will still be a rather raw and brutally honest account in many ways. Most likely I shall dissolve into a puddle of melted moth before it’s over. Reason # 23 I am completing writing this particular project and publishing it prior to the end of 2018. I’d like to survive to achieve the rest of my authorly goals.

Four: High among these goals are the Super Secret Project (in collaboration with White Fang). It’s a spinoff from The Order of the Twelve Tribes (check for hints in Volume 3!), a standalone, and features a character that White Fang helped create. Look for that to hit Barnes & Noble.com later this year!

Five: To be published about the same time — my prequel to The Order of the Twelve Tribes. For the moment, I’m calling this Project Tangerine. More details forthcoming!

Six: If I get all of this done without perishing… In early 2019, I will absolutely release Volume 4, and then… There will be a Volume 5. This is a decision that was made within the last couple of months. Several tangents popped up in my head that I really wanted to explore more in the “canon” series, and I just can-not-do-it-all in 4 installments. So, although I have just increased Kyle’s workload, luckily his excitement at the existence of a 5th book is overcoming needing to create additional covers.

Seven: If the world is extra kind to me and I make it through all of that, I may go for a concept that’s been ticking away in the back of my way-too-busy brain for a while — a collection of “lost tales,” short stories or novellas that were inspired by subplots I either cut out of something or wanted to delve into further but didn’t get around to yet. Let’s call that Project Mango.

And finally… If you need some quick summer reading, don’t forget to check out my short story collection! Entitled “Dreamings and Muses,” it can be found on Barnes & Noble.com, and features a really lovely cover by the talented Alea Harper!

All right, back to your regular scheduled programming! Hope you’re all having wonderful weather and getting to sleep in!