Autism, community

Autism Acceptance Is The Goal

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So, today is Autism Awareness Day. There have been and still are and will most likely continue to be a variety of debates around this phrasing. Why? Because making neurotypical people simply aware that autism exists accomplishes about nothing as to what happens next.

Every time the human race learns about something new to them, the immediate question then becomes: Well, what do we do about it? Humans, in case anybody hasn’t noticed, aren’t really content to just let things be. This includes autism.

Autism has been seen as everything from an inconvenience to a plague upon society. (No, the irony of saying that while a real pandemic is going on does not escape me for a second.) Autistic people have, for years, been made to feel that how we naturally are is some sort of horrible mistake, and that we should either strive to become “like everyone else,” or at least feel bad about being different.

After being stuck in this cycle for decades, forced to believe it, and not fight against it, finally, one day, we autists became convinced there had to be a better way…and we started saying: “What happens next?”

The research, the stats, and our own experiences showed: Autistic children grew into autistic adults, and our sensory perception, social interaction challenges, and emotional processing difficulties did not go away. Yes, we could learn what others considered appropriate speech and tone and mannerisms; yes, we can frequently apply them. We can go to concerts, sports matches, the cinema, the theatre, camping and college and work. We can take public transportation, go to the grocery store, figure out how to create a Facebook account. Yes, we function very well in civilization.

But at what cost?

Because the bus is ALWAYS too crowded, the campground too muddy, the bar too loud. We will NEVER stop craving peace and quiet, and wondering if it really mattered that we didn’t get that joke all our co-workers laughed at.

In the midst of transitioning from thinking of ourselves as how the world thinks of us, to how we view ourselves, we discovered that the biggest barrier is NOT a lack of awareness of autism: It’s a lack of acceptance.

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You probably hear me banging on about this pretty often. With good reason. This is the hill I will die on: Being autistic does NOT make people less, nor should we have to change to make others around us feel more comfortable. We don’t need more organizations founded by neurotypicals explaining to other neurotypicals that we have “an intellectual disability that impairs motor function and social connectedness.” We need people who don’t relate to how we live our lives being OKAY with us being US.

We don’t need pity; we need tolerance.

We don’t need cures; we need accommodations.

What’s the point of making us just like the rest of the world?

It makes us less scary to those who place conformity above equality and liberty. And the god of Conformity has a pretty big altar in many civilizations today.

Who does it actually benefit when we’re forced to stop stimming, to mask our natural behavior? Not us.

Who will have a better quality of life because we aren’t automatically picked out of a crowd as neurodivergent? Not us.

This is how those of us diagnosed with ASD have been forced to live, for a very long while. When does it change? What happens next?

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I’m only one of many who wish for a world that doesn’t find it necessary to draw attention to my “quirks.” That sees the value in looking at things from another perspective. That won’t strive to take away parts of myself, claiming it won’t hurt.

It seems we’re born autistic, which means we don’t have any more control over it than our skin color or ethnic heritage. We can’t decide to be on the spectrum. But you can decide how to treat us.

Today, please note that #ActuallyAutistic individuals on Twitter are promoting a new symbol, a rainbow infinity sign that we are pushing over the blue puzzle piece, selected for us by neurotypicals who feel autism is a plague that needs a cure. We want to present as fact that we do, and should, feel pretty good about being us.

That ideal world I spoke of does not yet exist. (At least, not here on Earth. If it is somewhere in the galaxy, let me know, okay?) So we have to keep trying to make it.

Yes, it is a fight; people with intellectual disabilities being seen as equal is one of the newest waves in civil rights struggles. And we need advocates on all fronts: In our families, our schools, politically and legally, medically and socially.

If you’d like to join us, please, today, speak of acceptance. That’s the crucial word now. The cause, the goal.

We’ve already accepted that you think we’re different.

Now we’re asking you to accept that it doesn’t matter.

Fox painting by Art Jongkie | No. 657

6 thoughts on “Autism Acceptance Is The Goal”

  1. Thank you for sharing this, Daley. Autism is something I want to know more about; I know very few people who are autistic, but I want to be a good ally and advocate. As a Christian who believes everyone is made purposefully and to fill an intended place in the world, I believe it’s very important to understand that just because there are less of a certain group of individuals doesn’t mean that they should necessarily be forced to operate the same way the larger group of individuals does. Otherwise, why would they be created that way?
    Would you have any recommendations for good resources for a neurotypical person to learn more about autism in general? I’d rather get reccs from someone who is autistic and can discern what resources are actually helpful to the community and which ones aren’t then trying to go it alone and accidentally getting into information that’s wrong or biased against the neuroatypical community.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Shay! One of the best books I’ve read written by an ASD individual is called: Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate by Cynthia Kim. And she has a blog called Musings of An Aspie. There’s me, of course, and Paper Fury (CG Drews) has also started writing some about autism on her blog. She and I both have included autistic characters in some of our books; hers is “The Boy Who Steals Houses,” and mine are throughout my fantasy series (but focused on in books 2 and 3). And on Twitter there’s Save the Neurotypicals (@SNeurotypicals) – just to give you a few places to start!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Daley, I love this post so much 😭 I also agree that awareness and acceptance are both still needed…it’s like, okay people know the WORD autism, but mostly they have no idea what it even means? So we need to even go beyond just saying “hey be aware of autism” (what are we, bears in the woods?!) to “this is what autism really looks like, all the stereotypes and misinformation aside”. And then ask for acceptance. I mean, can I say demand acceptance?! I can’t understand why people are scared of neurodiversity. Nobody wants everyone to be the same. Like, remove autism from the equation and people better give up their, like, electricity and computers and stuff 😂pretty sure autistics invented mostly everything.

    Liked by 1 person

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